Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
