The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
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