That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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