dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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