We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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