I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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