If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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