I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
