Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Will exercising make me less horny?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
