I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
