dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
