Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
