There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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