OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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