Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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