I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
