I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
