thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
