Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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