You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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