That's intense
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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