girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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