I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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