if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize