god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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