I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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