My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
try to milk me bitch
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