She announced her abortion via fbk
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
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He went soft
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
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just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out