Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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