remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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