Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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