I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My balls are so social today.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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