talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
