There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
