oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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