We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
