we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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