ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
