Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
