No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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