Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
