i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
