what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
