I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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