ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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