I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Randomize
