fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
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Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
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Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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