Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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