apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
