He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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