Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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