it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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