drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
