He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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