Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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