I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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