ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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