The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
